Date: Thu, 30 Dec 1999 20:14:47 EST
From: "booker w" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
To: Multiple recipients of list <email@example.com>
Subject: Re: 2nd attempt- my 2nd ibo trip....
Hello. Normally I don't post much of my own ibogaine experiences to this list - I don't know why really because I get a lot out of reading others' experiences. I would like most to hear how people find ibogaine to affect their lives one year - two years - five years down the road.
Over the past two years I have taken ibogaine three times to affect my addiction to prescription opiates with success. I have found that small doses seem to have the most "psychological effect" at least for me (I've never taken a large dose though, so maybe I can't comment on dosage.)
Anyway, I took my third dose of ibogaine last April - 325 mg ibogaine. (A little less than 5mg/kg.) It was the most unpleasant and traumatic "trip" of my three. I should mention that it was the only trip where my body was already completely clean of opiates too. For about eight hours I kept trying to get out from under it because it felt so unpleasant but it just wouldn't let me go. I often felt I was "traumatizing" myself with this third trip and it felt very negative and menacing thruout. For about two weeks afterward I continued to feel traumatized as though I had been through a war or had committed some terrible act of self-hatred, but then I seemed to "heal up" and my life actually became very peaceful, pleasant and I felt a contentment that I hadn't felt since youth and more energy than I had had in years as well. Often, too I would look around and the world would appear very beautiful and colorful.
Approximately four months after the third trip, one night I kept feeling as though I was going to pass out or faint somehow and ended up at an emergency room of a hospital where they could only decide that I was dehydrated.
Since that evening in August I started on a road from hell where I have often felt I was back "tripping" on ibogaine and have had some evenings where the hallucinations and dizziness were just as strong and had to lay in bed not moving. Thankfully these episodes only last about an hour to an hour and a half. Also thruout much of my days I felt dizzy, sick and the whole left side of my body has felt "wrong" with tingling, cramping and weakness etc. I had some medical tests that showed nothing and currently take a small dose of xanax daily to control the anxiety associated with all of this so I could at least go to work. Lately, though all these symtoms seem to be lightening up and I feel like maybe I am once again emerging from the dark tunnel these last 3-4 months have been and perhaps all of this is still to positive psychological ends for me. I don't feel all that good still, but occasionally there are some days where my body feels so light it's hard to believe I am physical, so maybe there is a payoff to the misery.
I am interested to hear from any others if they have found any sorts of these long-term effects from ibogaine and if ever found themselves "tripping" without having taken the substance. I find now that I can often almost at will lay down and start up a small scene and session for myself which is okay as long as I don't feel so sick or overwhelmed.
As far as my addiction, sometimes I definitely feel craving and a desire to go back to that "life," especially when I felt so miserable, but actually I have found myself taking pain medication for a dental problem and find I have the ability to take pain pills "responsibly" so far. Sometimes I feel like ibogaine is a sort of "vaccination" to drug abuse - like you can still get the disease but your resistence to it is enhanced. I know I am still playing with fire though and it's quite possible I could still readdict and am looking into developing a 12 step program for greater support. However I have no doubt that Iboga has helped me quite a bit and I am thankful for that. On the other hand, at this point I feel I could get as strung out as possible and can't even consider the thought of taking another dose of ibogaine in this lifetime.
Any comments or related stories are greatly appreciated.
From: Adam Gur <firstname.lastname@example.org>
To: Multiple recipients of list <email@example.com>
Subject: 2nd attempt- my 2nd ibo trip....
Date: Mon, 27 Dec 1999 01:49:11 EST
I see this list has jump-started the 'Y-it'snotOK' bug. Is it just me but has the net started
acting weird recently, like Hotmail being down most of yesterday's morning?
At any rate, here's my account of my second ibo trip as I attempted to post it a few days ago.....
As some of you may recall, I did an Ibo trip in Cameroon, with Nick, this past August. As I
mentioned, things weren't that great upon my return, mostly emotions swinging erratically... As a
result of posting my account, Sara, who's on this list contacted me and we even met, here in
Israel. She invited me to do an ibo trip at her place, outside Amsterdam. This second trip was very
positive. For starters, the place is just amazing, so peaceful and beautiful, I immediately fell in
love with it. And Henk and the kids were just great, I really enjoyed their company and the
opportunity to experience their very relaxed lifestyle. Sara of course was amazing, not just with
me, but also with her kids, which left a strong impression on me.
I left Israel for London, around 10 pm on a Saturday; I took a connecting flight from London and
arrived in Amsterdam around noon Sunday. I started fasting Saturday morning, drinking very little
from there on. Around 11pm Sunday night, after showering, I got into bed and Sara gave me 2 pills
to fight the nausea and a while later I took 15 mg of Ibogaine per kilo of bodyweight... Since I
barely slept on the flights, I was somewhat exhausted and I immediately fell asleep. I'd like to
mention that Sara set me up on her daughter's bed, which has a very special mattress; Tampur, made
in Denmark I believe. The sponge or whatever the mattress is made of, was developed for NASA and it
feels like those balls that you squish, you just sink a bit into this mattress and it supports your
body evenly, so if you're going to lay down for 3 days or so, this is definitely an incredible
mattress to do it on. I was amazed to discover that I had no need to move or shift positions at
At any rate, like I said, I fell asleep almost immediately, I don't know when I woke up but I woke
up to sounds and flashes from my trip in Africa, I could hear Besala (the abee) going on and on, I
could see the place and even walk around with people nearby and all, even the parrot was there, the
ibo literally transported me there. I found it a bit upsetting at first, even spooky, since, once
you're under the influence, you tend to think that whatever is going on will just go on forever...
I then realized and even processed that some of what happened in Cam was sort of traumatic and
consequently the flashbacks faded away. Now I could *hear* the vibrations of each nose hair as I
breathed in, amazing in its own way... Sara, who was sleeping on a couch in the same room, reminded
me to try to not move as this will induce nausea and vomiting... I tried to remain as still as
possible although it was difficult, my mind seemed to be playing tricks on me and I had to keep
I can't really describe the mishmash of imagery that came up, I was very passive and even detached
from it all... At one point I got up and Sara did too, I actually sat up on the bed and soon after
I threw up... I did that a few times though almost nothing came up after the initial one. A funny
incident occurred when I once leaned over to throw up, fortunately I didn't have anything to throw
up, and I just spat. But I didn't hear it make the expected sound, so I reached over and to my
surprise my hand seemed to go right through the bucket. I then looked over and saw the 'real'
bucket... pretty common thing I guess but worth mentioning to those who have yet to experience
I don't remember much otherwise, until I woke up abruptly to realize that whatever progress I was
making in that daze came to a stop at this black wall. This was quite upsetting, here at last I
stood confronted by something within me that I could not penetrate nor clear, I didn't really cry
but I guess I sobbed in anger and frustration....
Recuperating was great, like I mentioned, the mattress was simply incredible, I got up feeling
amazingly well and tried walking a bit which sort of knocked me out a bit. I was weak but otherwise
I left Amsterdam Wednesday morning for London where once again I grabbed a connecting flight, this
time to Toronto, where I surprised some very good friends.... I discovered that I had a huge
tolerance for very potent grass, the weed simply couldn't latch on to any mental or emotional crap
which I now understand as a first step in the downward spiral most of us experience as 'burning
out'. No matter how much I smoked, I didn't crash, in fact I could feel my brain's cleanliness....
I had an amazing week where I was simply on cloud nine, partially due to visiting friends and all
that that entails but the ibo certainly was compensating me for the black wall... my friends were
commenting on the change that they saw in me, and I just had to call up Sara and thank her again...
Just a few days ago I placed an order for 5 grams of Indra's ibo extract... This time I will do it
here at work where I happen to also live, so to speak. I'm getting a big office in the next few
days and I'm buying a couch for the occasion- till now I've been crashing on a couch in the
hallway... And so, perhaps, I will actually correspond with this group while tripping on ibo... I'm
planning to do it on this coming Thursday which is actually the end of the week here in Israel, or
the following Thursday, seeing as how Jerusalem might be quite interesting on New Year's Eve.
I'd appreciate any further recommendations as to how I should go about this third trip,
particularly concerning ways to avoid or at least delay the nausea and vomiting... I recall someone
mentioning ginger extract?), I'd like to keep anything else to a minimum, which is how the natives
explained that Eboga likes it; nothing in you.
Season's Greetings to all,